Distraction
by Tribble Master
Summary: Lex meets an old freind. She needs a favor. It's a pain in the foot, really, robbing a bank and all.
1. I can hold my booze

Lex inhaled a deep breath. It was good to be in the cold air. It refreshed him, made him feel alive. Not as refreshing as the loaded the gun however.

Looking across the parking lot he saw the bank, brimming with opportunity. And cash, lots of cash. He looked back at the empty scotch bottles in his convertible. He had told himself that he could hold his booze. He'd said it over and over until he was enough drunk to believe it.

Setting the gun on the hood, he pulled on his black leather jacket to regain some of warmth that had escaped him in the cold night air. For a finishing touch he wore a pair of silver sunglasses with yellow lenses, accompanied by beige gloves, and a Yankees baseball cap to hide the easily identifiable bald head. The loose hundred dollar bills scattered across the car did not deter him from the idea of getting richer. It wasn't that much, after all.

With false purpose he picked up the gun and walked with staggering steps, stopped, and frowned. Standing straighter he walked into one of Metropolis's main banks and smiled a smile that had won many business deals. Not to mention women.

There was hardly anyone there, less than ten at this time of night. Lex didn't care, he hardly even noticed; the satisfaction in robbing the bank consumed him, like a high that wouldn't fade. Combined with inebriated thrill of more cash to be gained, like daddy always taught him. He sneered at his private joke. Causally he coughed to gain some attention, "Ladies, and, uh, Gentlemen, I am robbing this bank." he said, slurring slightly.

For Lex it was a fine line in between being drunk, and being allowed to do whatever he wanted. Fortunately he was rich enough to do both.

He laughed, they stared. When he held the gun up in the light they all threw up their hands. This was too easy. With slow strides he went towards the main teller, pausing only to steady himself on a desk.

"How much sir?", the teller asked, wary of the gun.

Lex put a finger on his chin and cocked his head. This was not something that had occurred to him earlier. He looked at the ceiling and exclainmed, "I don't really f-ing care, but make it a few thousand…"

"Do you have a bag sir?" the nervous teller inquired.

Lex shrugged and raised an eyebrow, "Bag? Just one moment."

When the idea had first come to him, small details had eluded him; he just wanted to rob the bank. He turned to the people in the far corner. "Anyone here got a purse big enough for a couple of grand?"

An old lady raised a quivering hand. She looked down at her walker and said, "Uh, I do…"

The pink flowered bag was innocently perched on the walker. Lex snatched it up. Turing to the teller he said, "Here's my bag!"

The beaded strap lay perfectly across Lex's shoulder. The money filled the bag to a point where the zipper could hardly close it. He smiled and raised his gun. The shot ricocheted across the silent bank; Lex's hand was on the trigger. "See folks? That wasn't too hard!"

The hole in the ceiling directly above the crowd made them gulp. Idly he twirled the gun on his finger, to drunk to notice that the safety was off. "Well, I'll just be…"

There was a second shot, followed by swearing. He wiped the sweat off his forehead ignoring the blood coming from his foot. A stain was rapidly growing on the floor. "_Great,_ another stupid detail."

With that he turned towards the door. As his hand stretched out to hit the door handle, his knees buckled and he hit the floor.

Blackness washed over his eyes.

_Shit, not supposed to happen…

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Only to continue if the guest author and I get reviews. We own nothing of Smallvile. Hope you enjoyed it.


	2. I was so drunk I once

It occurred to him that his foot felt funny, no, more like heavy. Like someone had encased it in cement. Lex blinked a few times and tried to sit up. Tried, because, there were restraints on across his waist, also on his arms and legs.

What?

An intense throb clouded his thinking for a moment. Then realization hit him like a hammer.

Oh yeah, he chuckled, _I robed a bank._

He looked around the hospital room, and then his eyes widened. The self-satisfied smile that had taken over his lips dissolved.

_Oh, shit! I robbed a friggn' bank!_

Relaxing, another smile unfolded on his features as he thought of her. She was probably throwing him a party right now. Probably toasting to his successes. Or not, she would take any mildly exiting event an excuse to throw a party. No, success, he decided as the doctor entered the room. At least he wasn't dead. He remembered the night they had toasted to future success ...

xOx

The red light on the camera stopped blinking as it was shut off. Lex lowered his eyes from it to stare at the door. In accordance with the cryptic postcard he had received she walked inside. A red dress hugged her figure, and her long hair brushed on her shoulders. He made a mocking little bow, "Hello again."

She curtsied, smirking at him. "Hello indeed."

They both laughed and walked to each other. "Alexander, you're looking great!" she whispered in his ear as they hugged.

"People call me Lex now," he said with a warm smile, pushing her arms' length away. His hands rested on her shoulders.

She walked over to a table holding two glasses and an expensive bottle of scotch. Picking up one of the glasses, she started playing with it giving away her calm exterior "I see that they also call you boss."

Lex smiled fondly at her. She had never been any good at hiding her emotions. At least that was the facade she fed him. Handing Lex a scotch she turned to pour one for herself.

He watched the scotch in his glass, but looked up into her eyes, captivated by the swirls of her therein. "What was it you needed?"

She turned to face him. Smiling coyly, she purred, "I think we should have a drink."

Several odd memories later, he picked up the bottle of scotch and poured the amber liquid into his glass. He couldn't remember how much he had had, or what time it was.

All he knew was that the world was taking on a pleasantly fuzzy hue, and that the woman sitting in front of him was one of the most beautiful he had ever seen. She laughed at something he had just said, some old story from when they were younger. His smile grew wider, happy that she was happy. It occurred to him that he should by her something –diamonds?- if only he had money.

"Did you say something Alex?"

God she was gorgeous, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol, her eyes laughing right along with her mouth. He wished they could stay like this forever, young and happy. And drunk, yes, very drunk. "I wanted to buy you something."

"Oh really," she purred. He pulled his eyes from the extremely revealing low cut of her dress, and back to her face. She had come here to ask for something, but he was slowly forgetting this.

She eyed him critically. Yes, he was just about drunk enough to agree with anything she asked of him. Especially if she let the strap of her dress fall another few inches.

She had absolutely no qualms about using her body to get what she wanted. It worked, didn't it? He looked about ready to beg her to marry him, but maybe it was just the scotch...

She touched a drop of alcohol to her lips, "Don't you need money to buy things? Or do you have special privileges?

He looked as if it was hard for him to think. "Well banks have money."

She threw up her arms excitedly. "Fine! Get money from a bank!" She paused, put her arms down and pouted, "That's not very exciting though." Lex was intrigued, both by her  
statement and her blush.

The bald millionaire bit his tongue. "What if I had a gun? What if I robbed the damn thing?"

Lex grinned, at the absurdity of his statement. She looked excited about the idea.

Her blush deepening, she added, "Have you ever done something, illegal? Or  
is this special- just for me?"

"Oh yes, very illegal I assure you," he hugged her closer bring their bodies neared on the small black couch. "But nothing like robbing a bank. Do you think I should use a gun?"

She leaned forward clapping her hands together. "Oh dear Alexander! What a thrill!"

She smiled seductively, gracefully getting off the couch. She reached out a hand to help him up. He staggered slightly, and smiled following her over to the coat rack.

"Oh you have to wear this jacket!" She thrust a leather jacket into his arms. It was one of his, but he didn't remember her getting it out of the closet. An unimportant fact in the current situation.

He shrugged it on and turned a slow circle under watchful eye. "How do I look," he asked modestly.

"Sexy enough to rob a bank!" The idea made Lex laugh.

Half way through the door he stopped, "Hey, can you tell me which car would be suitably sexy for me to drive?"

She winked at him, " The Porsche, you naughty man.", and pushed him out the door.

As soon as he was out of sight, she pulled up the straps of her gown and frowned. It hadn't been one of her best performance, but he'd been too drunk to notice. That or he really was infatuated with her.

It didn't matter, she had an important phone call to make. As she walked inside, she smirked. He really hadn't changed at all. It had been so easy. Like taking candy from a baby.

xOx

From the hospital room Lex reflected on the other details. Like whether or not he should give the cops what he had found in her purse. All those names and dates…

Out in the hallway, things weren't nearly as quiet...

"What the hell? Another hour?" The first cop said, coughing up some of his coffee.

"The alcohol has to be out of his system. Otherwise it's fruits of a f-ing poisonous tree." The second cop angrily shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I still say we need to cut off the pain meds until he tells us where the million from the main safe is."

The first cop was hit across the head by the other cop. "Just keep calm." He promptly stomped off.

The first cop stood their mumbling, out of Lex's hearing range. "I just need a fake confession! Some kind of excuse! She'll be so mad with me – I don't like it when she's mad…"

To Be Continued

Furits of a Posinus tree is a reall thing. PM me if you must know. Enjoy!


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